Saturday, 11 February 2012

She Has To Be Popular

In Year 7, I failed. Now, looking back, I know I should have been more careful, and been better trying to build up a good life, with lots of friends.
Others had Facebook already, and got connected before even knowing each other properly. Others came from larger schools, where they already knew tonnes of people. Others chose their friends more carefully.
But now it's too late. If I could start again, I know how I could have built up a life. I know how i could have gained friends. But back then, I was so innocent, and nieve.
I thought being nice to people would make them like you. I assumed if you were friendly, then people would respond in a friendly way. I had this idea that people would like you for who you were, not because of the group you started out with, if if you know how to use Facebook, and have house parties all the time.
I guess I was wrong. I decided to become friends with somone who quite frankly was odd. He was really rude to just about everyone. As a result, he was very unpopular. And as I had settled in as his friend, I was stuck with him. I was disliked too.
At the time, I thought 'Who cares'. I am being generous, with my kindness towards him, and helping him out, telling him what people like and what people don't.
But things change. Overnight, he became popular. Because he was popular, what would he need with his little friend who's only life was himself and about two friends. So he ditched me, and I realised that all of a sudden, he was popular, and despite the fact I'd helped him, I was not.

And this start in Year 7 is crucual. I failed my start. If you don't make a 'good' and 'cool' impression, then you're finished. I am already a lost cause, in many aspects.
This is where I come to my sister. Innocent, nieve, and thoughtful. Just like me. Just like the one I was. At the moment, seemingly with no social life. I see her at lunch, on her own, and when I ask her what she usually does, she replies "I go to the library and read my book, or go to a club".
Of course, there is really not that much wrong with this. But there is one thing. Friends? Chatting to people? What about socializing? I find myself telling her "Oh I saw tht person from your form over there" or something along those lines, just to get her talking to people!
And then yesterday, she was on Facebook, and a message pops up.
"Hello xxx"
I happen to be there, and she says to me "Oh look someone has sent me a chat message!"
"Hi" is her response, but before she has time to press the enter key, I slide in. "She sent you an 'xxx'. Send some back."
And this went on, with me guiding her through a conversation, telling her what she could say, and she was asking me "What can I say to that?" on more than one occasion.
I realize there is a motive behind this: I don't want her to be like me.
I want her to have friends, and lots of them. I want her to be able to go on Facebook, and have chat messages from friends popping up, texts on her phone, etc. I want her to have a social life! Not just a little circle like I do.
She Has To Be Popular. I have to help her, because with me as her sibling, she has not had guidance in being the coolest person.

So I ask you, am I doing the right thing? Am I really helping her? Or making her into a project. Because I really care about her.

Yellow Jane

1 comment:

  1. tricky
    hard to tell really
    depends on whether your sis wants loads of friends :)